Madalushka.

Tomorrow

I leave for three weeks in Italy & France!

YES!

7:27 pm • 1 May 2012 • 2 notes

vibram run with the gorgeous girlfriend! i love living in the woods.

7:11 am • 25 April 2012

rain, which is finally here after weeks of dry farm days. Up way past my bedtime listening to the pitter-patter and breathing into my injured back. 9 days until we leave for Italy + France a tre settimane. Started packing tonight. I am grateful for hot baths. I am grateful for a quiet, clean house. I am grateful my aunt Sheila is visiting. I am grateful for Claire + my mother helping me revise. I am grateful for my trusty lil’ car. I am grateful for physical pain. I am grateful for anger. I am grateful for emotional exhaustion I am grateful for my therapist (see previous two sentences). I am grateful that no one I love has died yet this year. I am grateful for the big, beautiful spider I came upon in the hallway today, and the 7 red-tailed hawks I’ve seen recently, and the enormous snapping turtle we saw in the stream yesterday. I am grateful.

11:46 pm • 22 April 2012

BREATH

For those wondering how it sounds
from the inside-

think of how, in the saddest movie you ever saw
the boundless
soundstage city surrounding
went silent
until you could hear only the protagonist’s
heavy breath

Think of how his whole aching life
began, as the breath grew loud and close, to evaporate
Onscreen it rained, and steam
rose from the hot cement sidewalk
and, behind the protagonist, out of focus, you could see kids
buying gum from a newsstand, and thin
women hurrying by in heels

The breath swelled and swelled, poured into itself

It started to sound like the rush and crash
of waves, and you remembered how once
during a hurricane, your mother
carried you
down the road to the beach

How she spoke to you
but you couldn’t hear over the storm

so you pressed
your ear to her cool chest

and found there a vibration so deep
it came not from her body
but from somewhere

just beyond it

11:24 pm • 22 April 2012 • 2 notes

(Coconut) Bliss

This week, Claire and I have been together for a year and a half! Last night, after a good day on the farm, we went out to dinner (ooh la la!) then strolled around Whole Foods and brought home 2 guavas, 2 cherimoyas and a carton of Mint Galactica Coconut Bliss. Mmmm. Today we have yoga in the morning, then she’s teaching/I’m dancing her dance class this afternoon, and then our friend Ben has an art opening! It’s supposed to be warm and sunny. I am grateful for every busy day. I am grateful to wake up early after a deeeeep sleep. I am grateful for green juice and yoga and barefoot farm work and my therapist. I am grateful for tropical fruit. I am grateful for Claire. I am grateful for sunlight. I am grateful.

7:21 am • 14 April 2012

4.11.12

Far over weeks of dark
ground floor nights stretches
a sky pricked and bleeding.
Not sleeping, I wander that desert of stars,
sway to a thirst that filters down
through a lattice of pale birch.

So I touch you just to remember my hands.
Walk blind through a frenzy of smoke, honey and black tears,
then drive into the city at dawn and wonder,
as steam rises from mirrored buildings,
am I awake?

Sure enough,
light carves a new day,
empty as air,

and that is the space
into which I curl
and breathe
and wait.