I leave for three weeks in Italy & France!
YES!
vibram run with the gorgeous girlfriend! i love living in the woods.
rain, which is finally here after weeks of dry farm days. Up way past my bedtime listening to the pitter-patter and breathing into my injured back. 9 days until we leave for Italy + France a tre settimane. Started packing tonight. I am grateful for hot baths. I am grateful for a quiet, clean house. I am grateful my aunt Sheila is visiting. I am grateful for Claire + my mother helping me revise. I am grateful for my trusty lil’ car. I am grateful for physical pain. I am grateful for anger. I am grateful for emotional exhaustion I am grateful for my therapist (see previous two sentences). I am grateful that no one I love has died yet this year. I am grateful for the big, beautiful spider I came upon in the hallway today, and the 7 red-tailed hawks I’ve seen recently, and the enormous snapping turtle we saw in the stream yesterday. I am grateful.
For those wondering how it sounds
from the inside-
think of how, in the saddest movie you ever saw
the boundless
soundstage city surrounding
went silent
until you could hear only the protagonist’s
heavy breath
Think of how his whole aching life
began, as the breath grew loud and close, to evaporate
Onscreen it rained, and steam
rose from the hot cement sidewalk
and, behind the protagonist, out of focus, you could see kids
buying gum from a newsstand, and thin
women hurrying by in heels
The breath swelled and swelled, poured into itself
It started to sound like the rush and crash
of waves, and you remembered how once
during a hurricane, your mother
carried you
down the road to the beach
How she spoke to you
but you couldn’t hear over the storm
so you pressed
your ear to her cool chest
and found there a vibration so deep
it came not from her body
but from somewhere
just beyond it
This week, Claire and I have been together for a year and a half! Last night, after a good day on the farm, we went out to dinner (ooh la la!) then strolled around Whole Foods and brought home 2 guavas, 2 cherimoyas and a carton of Mint Galactica Coconut Bliss. Mmmm. Today we have yoga in the morning, then she’s teaching/I’m dancing her dance class this afternoon, and then our friend Ben has an art opening! It’s supposed to be warm and sunny. I am grateful for every busy day. I am grateful to wake up early after a deeeeep sleep. I am grateful for green juice and yoga and barefoot farm work and my therapist. I am grateful for tropical fruit. I am grateful for Claire. I am grateful for sunlight. I am grateful.
Far over weeks of dark
ground floor nights stretches
a sky pricked and bleeding.
Not sleeping, I wander that desert of stars,
sway to a thirst that filters down
through a lattice of pale birch.
So I touch you just to remember my hands.
Walk blind through a frenzy of smoke, honey and black tears,
then drive into the city at dawn and wonder,
as steam rises from mirrored buildings,
am I awake?
Sure enough,
light carves a new day,
empty as air,
and that is the space
into which I curl
and breathe
and wait.
quart of water with juice of one lemon, cayenne, stevia
1 grapefruit
quart of greeeeeen smoothie- spinach, blackberries, strawberries, camu camu, stevia
little bit o’ kale salad
1/2 quart of water
hazelnut hemp carob cookie dough
little bit o’ cuke/lettuce/tomato/avo salad
quart of peppermint ginger tea
“When I am with you, we stay up all night,
And the difference between them.”
-rumi
blackberries, strawberries, camu camu, spinach